


Hiraeth

by AzuraJae



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BoruMitsu, Boruto Spoilers, Episode 105 spoilers, Gen, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 14:56:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18741349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzuraJae/pseuds/AzuraJae
Summary: Time passes. Memories Fade. People Leave.But the heart never forgets.





	Hiraeth

**Author's Note:**

> A story that popped into my head right after I watched Episode 105 (A wound on the Heart). I couldn't stop myself from writing it, I really wanted to write this story.

 

Mitsuki has been forgetting things.

Not just normal things, it felt like everything was slipping out of his grasp.

He often forget where he lived or what he was doing, he spent time wandering about aimlessly, trying to remember what he had been doing. Mitsuki sometimes couldn’t remember the faces or names of his friends. His memories began to unravel, like someone had tugged a loose string and it all came down in a tangled mess. Mitsuki’s past had become so faded, so difficult to see. Thoughts and memories were disjointed, he could only hear the echoes of what was or what did happen, he thought anyway.

It wasn’t like him, to be like this. He was usually so on point and attentive with everything, Mitsuki began to grow frustrated with himself.

Sometimes, he would have these intense dreams. Painful dreams, not nightmares, they weren’t scary, but the type Mitsuki would wake up, his heart and mind both aching, distressed beyond belief.

But thing was that he didn’t remember these agonizing dreams. Mitsuki could only guess that they were his memories, flashing by. He tried, he really tried to remember what happened, but the only thing he could recall was faceless smiles and kind voices that made him want to cry. Laughter and his name being called, voices clear, but he didn’t know who it belonged to.

His every moment, waking or sleeping, became a terrifying ordeal of whether or not he would forget something important.

At first, Mitsuki had ignored the lingering feeling of pain and sadness tugging in the abscess of his troubled mind. He had tried going throughout his peaceful days with his friends. But it got to the point where he had actually failed to uphold his status as a team member and put his team in very difficult situations because of this.

During missions, there would be this bright flash of light in his eyes and suddenly, he just couldn’t remember what he was doing, like he had been frozen in place. He couldn’t help it, but Mitsuki had no choice to accept Konohamaru’s decision to put Team 7 on a break until they could figure things out.

Mitsuki felt bad for holding his team back, he knew how much Boruto enjoyed going on missions.

But both Boruto and Sarada seemed extremely worried about him.

“Mitsuki, are you okay? You space a lot more than usual.” he said to him one day, while they were hanging out idling with nothing to do.

“I don’t know.” he answered honestly. “It’s been hard to remember things recently. It’s like my mind has become very foggy.”

Sarada looked at him with a concerned face. “Are you tired perhaps?”

“I don’t think so.” Mitsuki responded.

Boruto and Sarada looked at each other with uneasy expressions, then the two looked at Mitsuki again. They were obviously worried about him and Mitsuki felt awful for causing them to worry, but he didn’t help what he didn’t know.

“Well, we’re worried about you, y’know.” Boruto told him seriously. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do.”

“Of course.” he said, with a smile, but to tell the truth, he was worried too.

Mitsuki thought he was perhaps worried that he was going to leave again, but he didn’t even remember why Boruto would be afraid of such a thing. Whatever memory that was of was gone.

Later that night, Mitsuki was sitting peacefully in his room as he watched Mikazuki run around and play with a tennis ball before hopping around the bed, meowing. Mitsuki was having a pleasant time before Mikazuki suddenly grew alert and looked at the window.

Confused and his mind muddled, Mitsuki turned to look at the open window to see two figures standing there. Realizing that there was someone there, Mitsuki hopped on his feet took a kunai to defend himself. After a moment, a figure appeared and Mitsuki instantly calmed down when he saw who it was.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

Orochimaru walked into his room, followed by Log, his brother. Mikazuki instantly grew frightened of this new presence and sprang towards Mitsuki, climbing up his leg. Mitsuki leaned down and picked up the small kitten, who began mewling and snuggling closer to him.

The man started at him with pressing eyes and Mitsuki knew whatever it was about, would be serious.

“I’ve been hearing that you have been unwell lately.” Orochimaru finally said, watching him with somewhat sad eyes.

“It’s been hard to remember things lately.” He answered honestly. “My memories feel like a small mouse. If I don’t hold on tight, it’ll flee, but if I hold on too tight, I crush it.” He reached up a hand to his head. “It hurts very much.”

Log, who had been peeping over Orochimaru’s shoulder looked at him with a saddened gaze. There was an unreadable look on Orochimaru’s face as continued. “Mitsuki, do you remember when you came to me long ago? About feeling unwell.”

Mitsuki thought for a moment, racked his brain for the matching memory, but he just couldn’t remember. “No.” He admitted.

There was a long sigh by Orochimaru. “It seems that it’s time to erase your memories.”

At the mention of this, Mitsuki suddenly recalled being given a choice in the past between taking some sort of medicine and erasing his memories to cure him or keeping his memories and continuing to suffer. His eyes grow sharp as he held on to Mikazuki, who had grown silent, tight.

“I thought I made a decision.” Mitsuki said, a little hostile.

“You remember?” Log said, he looked a bit relieved, but Orochimaru’s expression didn’t change.

“Something I didn’t tell you is that besides suffering, is the very real possibility you could die.” Orochimaru said. Mitsuki almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You are losing your memories and dying because your brain cells are dying. There will come a point where you won’t wake up from your sleep and you will die.”

Mitsuki didn’t know what to say. So he was dying? When he didn’t respond, Orochimaru came closer, putting a hand on Mitsuki’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I have no plans for you to die. There is treatment you can undergo which involves wiping your memory. It will stabilize your brain growth and you will be able to live..” His parent told him.

Mitsuki hugged Mikazuki closed as the reality of forgetting all of his precious memories began to settle in. He didn’t want to forget, but even if he didn’t want to treatment by erasing his memories, he would lose his memories anyway. What kind of sadistic choice was this?

“Will I forget everything? Even my friends?” he asked quietly.

“Yes.” was Orochimaru’s answer.

“Will I remember them again?” Mitsuki asked again, his voice growing noticeably distressed.

Orochimaru looked at him with a sharp unblinking expression. “No.”

There was a long silence as Mitsuki stood there, hugging Mikazuki for his dear life. He didn’t want this, he hated this. This was the first time he’s ever felt intense hate, but who could he hate? It was not Orochimaru’s fault nor was it really his own. It was just the way things turned out to be. Mitsuki was angry, but he wasn’t sure at what.

“Can I please...have a moment to think?” Mitsuki finally looked up at his parent and brother.

Orochimaru didn’t say anything at first, but he gave him a kind look. “I’ll give you a week. Even if you don’t want to come with us, we’re going to take you back to get you treated.”

* * *

 

-~*~-

Boruto had been in a blissful sleep when he heard some sort of tapping. He tried to drown out the noise by turning on his side, but the tapping was persistent and did not stop. Finally he groggily opened his eyes and turned his head to where he heard the tapping was, determined to stop it so he can return to his sleep. He turned to the window where he was scared to alertness by a shadowy figure standing right next to his window.

“Mitsuki!” he shouted in shock, but then he covered his mouth and stood still for a moment, possibly checking to see if he woke anyone up. It would be sort of bad if he woke up his mom or sister. After a moment of making sure no one heard him, Boruto tiptoed to the window and opened it.

“What are you doing here? What time is it?” Boruto questioned, a little irritated to be woken up from his sleep, but was a little bit anxious.

Mitsuki didn’t answer and that’s when Boruto realized how distress Mitsuki looked. He noticed Mikazuki on his friend’s shoulder, unusually quiet. Instantly, there was an uneasy sinking feeling in his stomach as he finally caught on that something had happened, something wrong. “Wait here, let me grab my jacket.”

Boruto ran into his room, grabbing his favorite jacket from the chair he had hung it on and grabbed some sandals to use. He wasn’t supposed to use these outside the house, but he couldn’t be bothered at the moment. He climbed out of his window and next to Mitsuki.

“Alright then, come on, let’s find a better place to talk.”

The two had climbed onto one of the high cliffs, away from the hustle and bustle of the village nightlife, somewhere where it could just be them. Boruto didn’t really know what was up with Mitsuki or why he came to him in the dead of the night, but he could tell that something was really bothering him. He knew that it had something to do with his really shoddy memory lately and he was honestly afraid that if Boruto didn’t hear him out, that Mitsuki would try to leave like he did all those years ago.

They sat in silence for a while, Mitsuki had brought Mikazuki with him, so the two sat quietly as Mikazuki crawled onto Boruto’s lap, meowing, pawing his hand for a pet. As he petted the small cat, Boruto finally turned to Mitsuki.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” he asked.

Mitsuki was looking down on the town, his eyes were downcast, and there was a certain sadness in the air that made the whole conversation pretty heavy. Boruto was getting scared of what he might hear.

“Boruto, would remember me, if I had to go, a place where you could not follow?” Mitsuki said, still not looking at him.

Boruto was confused and honestly a bit taken aback. The anxiety of the whole Hidden Stone Village fiasco came flooding back. “You’re not trying to leave are you?”

His blue-haired friend didn’t answer, but he still looked tired looked _so_ sullen. When it was clear that he didn’t want to answer his question, Boruto decided to address the question Mitsuki had asked.

“Of course I would remember you.” The blonde boy told his friend softly. “You’re my best friend right? Friends don’t forget friends.”

Mitsuki finally smiled, though there was a hint of sadness tugging in the corners of his lips. “I thought you would say that.”

“Mitsuki, what is this really all about?” Boruto asked seriously, trying to hide how anxious he was. He stopped petting Mikazuki, who only looked up to them in quiet, tentative eyes.

“Boruto, I’m dying.” Mitsuki said finally.

He didn’t think he heard Mitsuki clearly. Dying? That didn’t make sense. He had to go away? Forever? Why? How? Was there a way to fix it?  Instead of saying anything, Boruto just stared at Mitsuki, a blank look on his face as he tried to register what his best buddy had just told him.

“You’re joking, right?” Boruto said, his voice hitching in his throat. “There’s no way that’s true...right, Mitsuki?” He didn’t know if it was poor taste to say such words, but he was just so overwhelmed.

“My memories has been fading, it’s gotten much worse over the past week. To be honest, I don’t even remember how we met, Boruto.” Mitsuki’s eyes quivered with emotion, even though his voice was steady. “But there is a way to fix it.”

Before Mitsuki could continue, Boruto turned to him and grabbed him by the shoulder, almost roughly. Mikazuki, shocked by the sudden movement, hopped off the boy’s lap and stood a little to the side, meowing. “Then take it. You _can’t_ die.”

In his shock, Mitsuki looked at his friend with wide eyes, surprised by the conviction of his actions. Then Mitsuki gave his friend a pitiful smile. “But this treatment...I would have to erase my memory.”

Boruto let go of Mitsuki’s shoulder as he tried to register what ‘erasing memory’ really meant. Memories truly couldn’t be erased right? There was no way it wouldn’t be that easy. Mitsuki could just remember it all again after the treatment.

“There’s a complication in my brain and it’s dying due to my rapid growth as a person. It’s a good thing, but I’m developing faster than my brain can adapt to these changes, so my brain cells are dying. That’s why I’ve been forgetful lately.” Mitsuki explained, his eyes falling to the ground once more. “If I erase my memory, my brain can fix itself and I’ll recover.”

“Then erase your memory, I’ll help you remember them again when you come back.” said Boruto firmly. He was fully committed to this idea, anything to help Mitsuki.

Mitsuki fiddled with his hand a little before he continued to talk . “The medicine is strong, I won’t remember _anything_ of this life. It’s like pressing reset in your favorite game you always play. There’s no guarantee I’ll ever remember you, or even if I’ll be the same person again.”

Boruto listened to what Mitsuki said with a heavy heart. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t think that what was going on with Mitsuki was _this_ serious. Boruto though that he could just do a good old heart to heart talk and everything would be alright. This all, didn’t seem real. But he knew it was, Mitsuki wouldn’t lie about something like this and his actions speak for themselves.

He only could guess how different Mitsuki was from him, since he was synthetic. It didn’t even cross Boruto’s mind that there could be complications regarding being one. Once again, he had taken everything for granted. All this was just almost too much for him to handle. Boruto was at a lost for words, was there even anything he could do as his friend?

“I’m sorry.” Mitsuki said to him, finally turning to meet Boruto’s eyes. There was a rare sadness that Boruto didn’t normally see shining in his friend’s yellow eyes. Mitsuki was normally so stoic, seeing him sad was so unnatural and weird. It made Boruto want to cry.

“Don’t say sorry, it’s not your fault.” Boruto replied fimly. “It’s just…y’know…”

“My parent told me that he would pick me up in a week. I think they’re going to sort everything out. I’ll probably be leaving.” Mitsuki’s tightly gripped his own hand. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be back.”

Upon hearing this, Boruto couldn’t help but reach over and pull his friend into a hug, his own tears beginning to form in the corner of his eyes. Mitsuki didn’t hug back, he was stunned, but he eventually leaned back into Boruto’s arms. Boruto wish he could say something, anything that would make the situation better, but there was nothing you could say. What could anyone really say about something like this?

Boruto’s own mind was a mess. He had always been someone who didn’t really think very far into the future. He was happy, going about his everyday, hanging and laughing with friends, doing missions with the team he grew to love as his own family. He didn't want it to end, he didn’t think it could end. He thought that in the very least, they would all grow up and have their own families, and they could still be friends.

This was too soon, they were still kids right? Why did something this awful have to happen to Mitsuki, someone he treasured a lot? It didn’t feel real.

Finally, he let his friend go and Boruto realized that even though he had a few tears run down his face, that Mitsuki didn’t cry. He has never seen his friend cry at all, even in a situation like this. It was somewhat comforting, that the Mitsuki he knew would was still here in this moment.

Then, an idea popped into his head. Time, there was still time.

“Did you say a week?” Boruto asked Mitsuki, who looked up at him a slightly confused look. He blinked blankly.

“Yes...I believe.” he answered slowly. Boruto flinched, wondering if Mitsuki’s faulty memory was already kicking into high gear.

“Then let’s make this last week the best week ever.” Boruto leaped on his feet.

Mitsuki looked at him with a befuddled expression, but Boruto gave him a huge smile and grabbed Mitsuki’s idle hand. Mikazuki, who had snuggled onto Mitsuki’s lap hopped on his shoulder again.

“ Come on.” He told his friend. “Trust me.”

* * *

 

-~*~-

Mitsuki had been under the impression that this final week before he had to go would be the saddest week of his life, but he found it much more surprisingly enjoyable. Boruto had apparently went and filled Sarada and Konohamaru in on what was going on, Konohamaru seemed to have already found out, Mitsuki guessed Orochimaru must’ve approached Hokage Naruto.

After their deep talk, Boruto took Mitsuki back to his apartment and told him to sleep while he went around to go do something, but that he would be back later.

Every day since then, Mitsuki enjoyed an extremely pleasant life. He met with all his friends again, even the ones he was in a danger of forgetting. They went and played games, they even went back to go fishing together again because Mitsuki didn’t remember that they did. He even ate the giant fish this time. He had never been one for eating, but he admitted that it did taste good.

They went around and did all sorts of things. Playing games, going around town, sleepovers, you name it. Mitsuki was happy, at one point during the week, he had forgotten even why they were having so much fun, though he would always get reminded of the inevitable somehow.

During the week, Mitsuki had become his memory had become much, much worse. He could barely recall the Academy days and had to be constantly reminded of people’s names or what they were doing. There were these waft of utter sadness that would sweep everyone and himself whenever these things happen.

Regardless, everyone had been so kind, so gentle, it wouldn’t be long before everyone was getting into the swing of things.

As the end of the week approached, he had a long tong with Konohamaru, who essentially told him that no matter what happened, that he would always be welcomed back into Team 7. Mitsuki decided to take him up on his offer, even if he couldn’t remember. He also had a talk with the Hokage, Naruto, who essentially told him the same thing and he patted his head. He had never been patted on the head before by anyone other than Orochimaru, so he was surprised. He even got to talk with Shino for a bit, who seemed really sad about his situation.

He also spent a lot of time with Mikazuki, who he hoped wouldn’t miss him too much. Even though he technically wasn’t his cat, Boruto offered to transition him to come to his house instead of Mitsuki’s apartment, which would be empty once he left. It was a little sad, Mitsuki realized, he couldn’t tell Mikazuki that he couldn’t be here anymore.

Finally, the dusk of the final day before Mitsuki would be fetched by Orochimaru came. He, Sarada, and Boruto were chilling together on the cliffside again, watching the sun set, the golden rays of dusk beginning to fade, much like their time together.

Suddenly, Boruto approached him, and it finally occurred to him that he had something in his hand.

“Take it.” Boruto said, handing him what appeared to be a very worn book.

Confused, Mitsuki took the book in his hands and it looked heavier than it appeared. There seemed to be a lot of content inside. He looked at Boruto for an explanation, but it was Sarada who elaborated.

“It’s journal. We wanted to give you something so even if you forget, all the memories we had would be written here.” Sarada said, a gentle smile on her face.

“We all took turns writing in it, about everything, it took a long time to write so don’t lose it, y’know.” Boruto said, he looked a little embarrassed as he said it.

Mitsuki held the book in his hands, looking at the pages that were bonded together by the string that closed the book. There seemed to be things in-between the pages and Mitsuki knew that a lot of love and care went into creating this journal. He clutched the journal close, he didn’t know what was inside, but he felt like he knew. He wanted to open it and read it, but he was afraid that if he opened it now, that he would hesitate and he wouldn’t want to go through with the treatment.

He looked at Boruto and Sarada and he couldn’t help it when he felt something warm drip down his face. It took a moment to realize he was crying.

“Thank you.” he told them, who both stood shocked to see his tears and stunned by the overwhelming emotions. “I will treasure this forever.”

After he said this, Boruto and Sarada both came over and hugged him, both of them with eyes welling up and they stood there, crying as the day finally ended. He heard them say something about how things were going to be okay and how they were going to look forward for him to come back.

 _I want to come back. I want to be here, with Boruto, with my friends._ Mitsuki thought to himself, holding the journal and his friends tight. _I will come back. I won’t forget. I won't let myself forget._

_I won’t._

* * *

 

-~*~-

When he had woken up, the first thing he realized was that his mind felt clear and sharp, but that he didn’t remember who he was. He was sleeping on a bed, strapped to what looked like loads of medical equipment. Despite the fact he didn’t recognize his environment, he felt that he was okay.

He had spent a long moment in time lying still and thinking about what happened. He couldn’t remember _anything_ of what happened. He felt lost and a little sad somehow. He didn’t really understand why, it just felt like he was missing something important.

A strange suspicious man, or was it a woman?, came in and informed him that his name was Orochimaru and and that he was his son named Mitsuki. When he asked what had happened to him, Orochimaru had told him he had undergone treatment to fix a fatal illness that affected his memories as a side effect. He had recovered from the treatment, but still needed a few days to fully recover.

‘Mitsuki’ wasn’t sure if he should believe this Orochimaru, he could be lying or anything at all, but with nothing to go on, he guessed that he had no choice but to at least consider the truth of the statement.

Mitsuki.

The name didn’t ring a bell.

But since he supposed he didn’t really remember his own name at the moment, it would be good to have a name to refer to himself to.

Mitsuki pondered a moment, not sure if he should be attempting to escape or if he should be sitting still. He decided it would be best to just sit here and see what happens, he didn’t feel like he was in danger anyway.

His eyes wandered the room when it came to rest on a book on a side table.

He was instantly fascinated by the book and instinctively reached over to grab it. As soon as he touched the book, Mitsuki froze, feeling a strange unidentifiable feeling. He felt a little bit excited, a little bit sad.  When he took a closer look, he realized that it was actually a journal. The journal seemed worn, a little old, it seemed to have been handled quite a bit. There was a string that seemed to be connected to the middle of the journal’s stem, tied around to keep the book shut.

Mitsuki looked around to see if anyone would come into the room, but the door of the room he was in was shut tight.

He tentatively untied the knot and opened the book and as soon as he did, something fell onto his lap. Instead of looking into the contents of the book, he went to pick up what had fallen. It took a moment to realize it was a photograph.

Mitsuki looked at the photograph in confusion. He recognized that it was himself in the photo, with what seemed like other people standing with him. A blonde boy with blue eyes, a black-haired girl with red rimmed glasses, and an older looking man with a blue scarf around his neck.

There was a stifling feeling of sadness bubbling up from the back of his mind and his heart ached quietly, not painful, just...something was not right.

Out of the corner of his eye, Mitsuki realized that there were more photographs that had fallen than just this one. He gathered them all up and started shuffling through them. A group photo of him with various other kids, another photo of him and the blonde boy and black haired girl. There was also a picture of a cat with a yellow collar with bright turquoise eyes. There was even a picture of what looked like five grave mounds. The name ‘Sekiei’ stood out to him from the small names scribbled at the bottom of the picture. He wasn't sure why, but it seemed like an important named to him.

As he studied these photographs, Mitsuki felt a growing intense feeling of longing. His brain started to hurt, but it didn’t remember any of these moments. His heart seemed to cry, as he failed to recall any of the faces in the photographs. He thought he could hear some sort of ringing, maybe someone's voice, but it was indistinguishable and Mitsuki wondered if it was just his mind playing tricks on him.

Looking for an explanation, Mitsuki picked up the book and began to rifle through the pages a bit. It was handwriting he did not recognize. It seemed to be a diary of some kind, detailing events like going to a place called ‘Thunder Burger’ and talking about a place called Konohagakure. As he flipped through more pages he noted that there seemed to have been more writer of this journal. There were small notes at the end of each entry with names he did not remember.

Shikadai. Chocho. Inojin. Metal. Denki. Iwabe. Wasabi. Namida. Sumire. Sarada. And more names.

Most of the entries seemed to be written by someone called Boruto. He wrote about everything, how they met and their adventures, how they were good friends. Mitsuki was distraught, reading all this.

Of course, all of this could be faked and manipulated, but the words in the journal seemed so genuine that Mitsuki felt like he really couldn’t disprove this as fake. His mind started to hurt a bit, as he forced himself to try remember these very soft, precious memories by his supposed friends. How wonderful it could be if this was all true? He and his friends sounded so happy. Would be it be to much of him to want this all to be real?

Suddenly, another photograph fell out of the book as he turned the next page, a picture that somehow wasn’t with the rest of the photographs.

His heart pounded as he picked up a single picture of the blonde boy from earlier, a smile brighter than the sun. Mitsuki felt his distress and sadness building as he squeezed the edges of the picture, yearning to know who it was.

The desperation caused him to flip over the image and his eyes widened as he recognized his own handwriting. The words made him want to cry, and for all intents and purpose, his heart was already crying. It was so painful, but Mitsuki didn’t know why these words triggered such a whirlwind of emotions. Mitsuki wondered if he ever would.

There were just three words.

 

 

_Boruto, my sun._

 

**Author's Note:**

> This story was pretty depressing to write. I did a bit of research of what it was like to deal with Alzheimer's and used experiences to explain how Mitsuki was feeling (since it's likely that the symptoms he's going through is very similar to Alzheimer's). This was a story that was spurred on by the fact that Mitsuki's brain would die if he continued to develop too fast according to Orochimaru. 
> 
> This story would my interpretation of a universe if Mitsuki did end up having to erase his memories so he could continue to live. It's a one shot story and I don't really have plans to continue it, but I'd like to think that maybe Mitsuki would be able to rebuild his life with his friends, even if he never could remember the precious memories he's had with them. There was a bit of BoruMitsu sprinkled in this chapter, but not too much as it isn't really the focus of the story, but I thought it was important to include nonetheless.
> 
> A sad story, but I think a happier ending than the other two Boruto fics I have published on here LOL.  
> I hope Mitsuki would be able to overcome this though, the poor boy shouldn't have to go through this.


End file.
